Chelsea in Nantes

You don’t have to read this all, but it’s my last post from France, so it’s heavy.

Last night in Paris with my sister. Two nights left in France.

Paris has been the best part of this trip with Rachel. We’ve done so much in such a short time! The hostel here in Paris was really nice. We spent most of last night just hanging out with the hostel workers. Then, this morning, when the internet was down, one of the guys let us go back and use his computer to look up directions to our hotel for tonight. They were all incredibly cool guys. I guess that’s what happens when you travel without a guy in the group - you get more help. Even today a guy stopped to help us find our hotel when we looked lost. So Parisiens aren’t as snobby as people say. We’ve managed to see Montmartre, Sacre-Coeur, the Louvre, take a 4 hour walking tour, and see the Eiffel Tower.

So we’ve really made the most of our time. And Rachel’s been through a lot. Just yesterday, in one metro ride she was farted on, and then she tripped down the stairs, and immediately after that she had to deal with me having a breakdown in the middle of the metro - which was even more dramatic my breakdown in the streets of Prague. It was my first post-study abroad breakdown, and I’m not even home yet. I’d just been talking to my sister about going home and got too emotional. And the Paris metro is not the place to get emotional. I’m just glad I had Rachel with me.

We sat under the Eiffel Tower last night, which seems like the perfect place to end my trip abroad. When it first showed up in France in 1889, it really didn’t belong in Paris at all - everyone knew it was out of place. It seemed like all scaffolding, an incomplete monument that had been placed haphazardly in a city of beauty and art. However, slowly over time it was adopted into French culture, and now it’s as much a part of France as anything else! So it’s fitting that I would end my trip there, watching the sun set and the lights flicker on, because I feel a little like the Eiffel Tower at this point. It’s no secret that at first I struggled to adapt to study abroad. I felt incredibly out of place and alone, but now, at the end of all things, I can feel all the ways that France has become a part of me.

Being there last night made me reflect on all of my decisions and adventures that have carried me to this point, and I felt a little sad. I’ll be home soon, and I don’t know what that will be like. I’m so glad I have Rachel here with me. She can tell that I’ve changed, and she thinks I’ve become more social and more confident and more independent. Two weeks ago I visited Matt in Amiens and he said similar things - that he thinks I seem more sure of myself and more “grown up”, whatever that means.

I’ll be home soon. I know that no one knows what to expect, especially me, but I’m as ready as I can be.

This may be my last post from France. Thank you so much to everyone from home who has loved me unconditionally. I know that there are times I’ve been difficult to love, so I’m thankful that there are people from home who have chosen to love me, even when they don’t understand what’s going on with me. Thank you to everyone who has supported me. Thanks to my family - especially my parents, my sister, and my Aunt Marcee. You’ve all given me so much good advice and more importantly, encouragement. Thanks to my friends who have been there for me even if I’ve been too caught up in my own life - I owe you all.

Thank you, especially, to everyone I’ve met in France. Thank you to the people who helped me in the beginning - you know who you are.
Thank you to all of my new friends I made. I’ve had some of the best times in my life with you guys, and I’m so lucky to have found such incredible friends - again, I think you know who you are! I’ll always remember our slumber parties in Nice, our strange nights that ended up at the boat, the hilarious times at Fleming’s, or impromptu dance parties in Launay-Violette!
And thank you, France, for everything I can’t put into words. You made me feel at home again. You made me realize that life is beautiful, even when it’s sad. Even when we have to say goodbye. My last few weeks here have been perfect, the way they had to be.

Tennessee in two days.

It feels unreal. Like a dream. But dreams can be pretty real, so here we go.

Rome was wonderful, exhausting, beautiful.

Italy’s public transportation is a mess. Thanks to that certain mess, it took us an entire two and a half hours to get to the airport today for our flight. We arrived just in time to board our flight, but it was stressful.

Paris now. We got in early enough to explore the Montmartre district some, which was especially lively and interesting tonight. We spent some time at the top of Sacre-Coeur, which is the highest point in Paris. After that, we got a nice dinner outside.

I’ve been eager to get to Paris because I really wanted to be back in France again. France feels like home, and I missed speaking French. However, there was definitely a point tonight where I felt a strange sort of homesickness. Paris is one of the best cities in the world, but for reasons of my own, it made me a little sad. And so I have four nights left in France.

I have a little bit of a mess to deal with in Nantes anyhow, since I don’t know how I’m going to check out of my place or anything like that. The building’s office is closed all weekend and Monday since it’s a holiday (apparently), and I fly out early on Tuesday, so I don’t know how I’m going to get anything done then. Ahhh. Oh well. C’est la vie.

This hostel is even nicer than the last one. Somehow we seem to be meeting a lot of Australians this week.

Just chilling in a rooftop garden, sipping tea and relaxing before dinner.

In Rome now.

Naples was nice enough. A little dirty, a little sketchy, but we got out of the city and rode horses up to Mt. Vesuvius, which is really one of the coolest things I’ve done in Europe. We went from “How do I get on a horse?” to “Let’s gallop down an active volcano” in just three hours. It even crazier because our guide spoke all Italian. There were lots of hand gestures involved.

We’ve only been in Rome for one night, but it’s already going pretty well. We had dinner last night and it was the IDEAL MEAL for me. Mussels with a plate of tomatoes, then tiramisu, and then finish the meal with a cafe latte. Really? All of my favorite things.

Then we had fun last night and I think Rachel is really starting to like hostels. It’s just nice to meet other people.

Made it safely from Venice to Naples. So much pizza, so good!

Tomorrow should be a busy day, as we’re going to go up to Mt. Vesuvius on horseback.

Italy is crazy, we don’t speak Italian, the food is delicious, and the men are too. Haha.

I’ll be home in about a week.

I think I’m ready. There are so many people I want to see. I want a haircut. I want to get pretty. I want to lay in the sun and drink sweet tea and enjoy the flowers.

I’m ready to leave this place. Since I’ve said goodbye to so many people, it’s just been sad being here.

And then, there’s someone important back home I need to talk to. If he’ll talk to me.

we’re in venice now!

everything is as it has to be, and i’ll be home in ten days.

so much on my mind.

people are really nice here.

So the beginning of my week started off with a visit to Amiens, a small town north of Paris where my friend, Matt, studies. I got in late, and really didn’t see too much of the town, but it was okay because it was just nice to get dinner and hang out with a friend from home. And seeing someone from home can make you realize all the ways you’ve changed. Matt told me that I seemed very different and more independent and “grown up”. It was a really good visit as we talked about all the things we missed from home and the ways study abroad has affected us.

Then I took a short trip to Prague, which was incredible because the exchange rate is so favorable! For once, the American dollar is stronger than the local currency, and so I was able to live a little luxuriously. The hostel place that I was staying had kitties too. The kitties were so incredibly friendly and there ended up being impromptu kitty parties in the room. The cats would wait by the door, and if you let them in, they’d jump on the bed and cuddle with you. I couldn’t be much happier than that.

Prague itself is a gorgeous city with so many strange and interesting features. Every style of architecture, just about, exists in the city and I was surprised by how green it was for a city. There were trees and gardens everywhere. However, this morning was not a fun morning. It was the opposite of happy. This morning is when I had to travel from Prague to Munich. Once I got off the tram stop for the train station, I felt entirely lost, in every sense.  Here I was, in a foreign city, and being alone and lost at 6am walking the streets crying was not the best moment of my life. I was only lost for about two minutes, though, and then I found my way, bought my ticket, and boarded a bus for Munich. I met a really kind American family and then I slept the entire way.

I found the hotel in Munich without difficulties, and now I’m here with my wonderful little sister! The hotel is in a small town north of Munich, but it’s sooo luxurious! The bathtub is more of a hottub than anything else really. The towel warmer adds a nice touch, and the flat screen tv is enormous. We haven’t seen much of Germany, but we’ve talked nonstop since we arrived having lots of super sister bonding time. We needed some time to rest, so we just had an slow, authentic Bavarian dinner tonight and we’re getting ready for tomorrow.

I don’t want to forget a single moment of my time here. Someone important to me once said that life is made only of moments.

In my mind, each moment, whether significant or subtle, has been drawn into the storyline of my adventure, composing a plot that’s gone from structure to uncertainty. But I’m certain that each memory is part of some interwoven plot all pushing me towards some inevitable finality, as if my time here has been like a storybook. I just hope I can remember it all as honestly as I’ve felt it.

I think sometimes we reach a point where we’ve grown and experienced so much more than we ever thought we would - and as incredible as it can be, you reach the end of your journey. When you’re at the end, I think you know it’s time to close the book. It’s exhausting because it’s been worth it. So I leave Nantes in two days for one last adventure before I return home.

I’m so fortunate to be able to travel with my little sister, Rachel! I think I must be one of the luckiest girls in the world. We’ll start in Munich, go through Italy, and end in Paris!

It’s strange, but I’m ready. Classes are over. I’ve said goodbye to some of my closest friends here, and so now it feels like my time here is at a close. I don’t feel insecure about anything anymore like I did before, but I really just want to return to the comforts of home.

Study Abroad is so strange - five months I would never have believed this experience. I don’t think I’d realize how quickly strangers can become so close. Or how just shockingly kind people can be. Or how confident you can be facing uncertainty. Or how comfortable it can be to spend an entire day alone - and then too, how comfortable you can be spending endless days with the kind of person you’d never meet at home. Or how everyday is a surprise.

I think more than anything, I learned to embrace uncertainty. I’ve learned that I never have to do anything more than what I’m comfortable with. And that it’s okay to let yourself be happy when you find the right friends.

I don’t know what the future holds for me right now, but I’ll be ready to be home.

And I hate finalities.

I’m nearing the inevitable ending to this adventure.

I might write it all down this summer, just to keep it. Because I’ve been saving photos, tickets, and even writing down the little words that people say.

Last night was the IRFFLE cabaret - a talent show final party for our program. Seeing so many people that I may never see again should be sad, but it was a really happy night. I kind of love this photo.

Haha. I’m posting Dolly Parton. I’ll be home in one month.